


We're As Close To Love (As We'll Ever Get)

by Take_Me_To_My_Fragile_Dreams



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Angst to the max, Dysfunctional Relationships, Emotional Manipulation, Hate Sex, I kinda made Magnus into a dick again, M/M, Oh look, Rough Sex, Sebastian is fucked up, Sexual Violence, and Sebastian, big time, mentions of self harm, self hate, slight mentions of malec, sorry this probably sucks, the world has fucked Alec up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-09
Updated: 2014-03-09
Packaged: 2018-01-15 02:24:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1287727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Take_Me_To_My_Fragile_Dreams/pseuds/Take_Me_To_My_Fragile_Dreams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Neglection could do cruel things to a person, could make them do desperate things in order to get what those around them either refused or were unable to give</p>
            </blockquote>





	We're As Close To Love (As We'll Ever Get)

**Author's Note:**

> Song is Marionette by Antonia  
> I have a lot of ideas for this song so I may add more chapters to this depending on my mood. If they'll go along with this plot line or not has yet to be determined.

_I wanna be, in your control..._

He was used to the pain by now. Used to drowning out the words to soak up the touch, to feel the slight spark of warmth and happiness, to feel sated for just a few moments…

With intimacy came pain; Alec had learned this lesson from the start. If he wanted touch, he had better be prepared for bruises. If he wanted kisses, he had better be prepared for teeth. If he wanted love, he had better be braced for hate. If he wanted to be held, he had better be ready for the ropes. And if he wanted pleasure, he had better welcome the pain. These were the lessons the people around him had taught; these were the life lessons that he had forced himself to accept and embrace. He hadn’t believed it at first, hadn’t _wanted_ to, but Magnus had given him that little extra push to stop fighting when he had proven what anything other than both obedience and acceptance got him-- loneliness. Alec had tried to pry, had gone against what his ex-lover had told him and in result, he had lost the man who he’d thought would be by his side no matter what.

The Shadowhunter would never make that mistake again.

So Sebastian’s borderline-painful grip on his wrists was easily ignored, the dull ache of his bones disregarded as his body was shoved down into the rough carpet of whatever hotel the other male had deemed fit (Alec hardly ever paid attention to the names anymore), the skin of his knees burning as they dragged back and forth with each thrust of Sebastian's hips. His shoulders screamed against the position the ropes held his arms in, his elbows forced as close together as they’d go behind his back and bound tight enough to leave dark bruises as the Shadowhunter purred into his ear, small words of hate and praise, words that would make Alec self destruct and bleed his skin later when he was alone with only his memories. Sebastian knew just what to say to have the male under him both loathing himself and adoring the dark Shadowhunter. Alec was starved for human contact, desperate for some kind of love and touch, even if it meant receiving hate and pain along with it. Neglection could do cruel things to a person, could make them do desperate things in order to get what those around them either refused or were unable to give. So really, it wasn’t hard for Sebastian to manipulate Alec. His loved one’s had broken him down, had practically offered him on a silver platter, a perfect creature for the dark Shadowhunter to bend and break. He especially had to thank the Warlock, if he hadn’t left the older male in that abandoned tunnel to be ripped apart by vampires he might not have come across the Lightwood and created their little _arrangement_.

“Seb-Sebastian please-” Alec gasped, whimpering in either pain or pleasure (he couldn’t really distinguish the two anymore).

“Did I tell you that you could speak?” He snarled, yanking the other male up by his hair, fingers slipping down to wrap tightly around Alec’s neck.

The Shadowhunter choked slightly, struggling to breathe as he shook his head desperately, tears burning his eyes. He wanted to beg for forgiveness, to apologize for being such a fucking _idiot_ and ruining things by opening his mouth like he always did with everything else-

“Then keep your mouth shut, idiot.” Sebastian growled, shoving him back down without warning, earning a pained whimper as Alec’s face collided sharply with the foor.

“Yes, Sebastian.” He whispered, tears streaking down his cheeks as his nose throbbed, body aching in protest to the mistreatment, and yet he made no move to protest or fight. He accepted the harsh taking, let the other male do what he wished, because really? This is the best that he could do.

**(And he deserved it.)**

_So unmerciful..._

_You can twist and turn me, just don’t let me go…_ **  
**


End file.
